Death as my teacher of Life

There is something about death that matures a person immediately.  When a loved one dies, whether immediately or suddenly, the veil of idealism fades away.  Gone is the naivety that everything lasts forever.  You are left with a somber note that death is real.

Ecclesiastes 7:2

It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of everyone; the living should take this to heart.

When my dad died last 1988, I was only 14 years old.  I wasn't close with my dad but he was the first person closest to me to pass away.    From an immature age of 14, my mind aged to that of an adult.  But this was unknown to me during that time.

I am now 40 years old.   Here are some of the things I have learned about death.

1. The issues you once thought important become petty.   You argue less because you suddenly realize that wanting to always be right isn't that important after all.

2. The things that you used to call cheesy lost its cheese.  What once was awkward for you to say to your family, now become part of your lingo like I love you and I care for you.  If before you rarely had time, now you make time.

3. It is not true that you are not affected when someone in your family dies.  Whether you "hate" the person or not.  You are affected.  Perhaps you don't realize what his/her death means to you  right away, but you are or will be affected.

4. The effect of someone passing away is not the same for everyone.  Some cry. Some are deadma or in denial.  Some laugh it off.  Some get angry.   Some get depressed.  Some hide  and can't be reached.   However way they mourn, it is not for us to judge.

5. There is hope.  The pain fades as the years go by.  However with that being said, the tears don't totally disappear.  You find yourself remembering at odd moments in your life and cry.

I have learned that the death of a loved one is not always the cessation of life. Sometimes it takes the death of a loved one for a person to starting living.  We start to ponder on the true essentials by asking ourselves, "Is this all there is to life", "where will I go when I die", "why did this happen to me", "is there a God", "does He listen to my prayers".  

Death is a certainty for everyone.  It doesn't matter if you are rich or poor, famous or not.   But how you live your life and the legacy you leave behind is what matters.  For me personally, there is only one legacy that I want to leave behind.  That I have lived a life pleasing to God.

This reminds me of the death of Jesus Christ on the cross.  (John 3:16  For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.)
Jesus Christ died on the cross to pay for our sins so that those who believe in Him will have life.  With Jesus' death came life.  He died so that we may live.  (John 10:10 I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.)

My wish for those who are still alive is in Psalms 90:12
Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

The living should take this to heart.... 

Weighing Scale

In this day and age, there are many kinds of weighing scales being used for various purposes. Some are used to measure density.  Some are used to measure solid while others are used for liquid.
Weighing scales are also called many names depending on its function or usage. The strain gauge scale is mostly used in the kitchen, while the commonly seen retail scale makes sure that the weight you are buying is appropriate to the price you are paying.

But for me, the weighing scale I like best and always use is the old-fashion balancing scale.

No, I don't use it to weigh myself because it would take a truck to balance it with my weight.  Nor do I use it to measure food: solid or liquid.

The thing I weigh most using this kind of scale are the decisions I make in life.  With so many factors to consider in making just one decision, I need to carefully "balance" and "weigh" the pros and cons before deciding.   This is where my favorite old-fashioned scale comes in.

In my previous blog, I mentioned that everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial.  This is true in making decisions because not all options are in black and white.  Often times these come in shades of gray.

Like spending for instance.  With the Christmas season just around the corner, I really enjoy giving gifts to others.  However I need to ask myself, "Can I really afford giving gifts to all the people I know?  Do I have the financial back up to spend?"   On one side of the balancing scale, I'll maybe put "no gift" and on the other side of the scale I'll probably put "will she get hurt"?  If my friend's or acquaintance's need for affirmation weighs heavier than not giving her a gift, then I'd include her in my budget.  I praise God that most of my friends are  not sensitive and they know I love them with or without a gift. :)

Again 1 Corinthians 10:23-24 says...
²³ “Everything is permissible”—but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible”—but not everything is constructive. ²⁴ Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.

As I lead a small group of girls, I also share to them the same principle when it comes to making decisions.   I ask them to make a mental list of the pros and cons of any decision that's in the "shades of gray" category.  I ask them to look deep into their true motives before proceeding with any decision.  Like who benefits more when you do or don't do this?

I realize that having a gauge is important because it made me realize I can be selfish and busy with things that are really about myself and not for others.  Especially with areas that are considered shades of gray, I realize that some of my decisions seek my own good, but not the good of others.  I hope the balancing scale works for you as it does for me, too when it comes to making decisions especially in the gray areas of life.

Good Friends Give Good Feedback

Last October 2, I met with some of my friends at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf in Greenhills.  I really appreciated the effort they took to meet me at such short notice.  I only called them during the day but they were able to make it that night.  

This is what they reminded me.

1.  You cannot please everyone.
2.  Some people have more troubles than most.
3.  We need to understand and accept our friends no matter how imperfect they are.
4.  Assumptions can camouflage themselves as fact.  Get your details right.  Open up. Communicate.
5.  We're getting old.  Don't sweat the small stuff.
6.  When you have it good, don't just let go.

I am reminded of a verse in 1 Corinthians 10:23-24 that says a person can do anything he or she wants but this doesn't necessary mean it's beneficial or constructive.   No one should seek their own good but for the good of others.

Our pastor often tells us that we cannot control others but we can definitely choose to control our attitude and the way we react and act towards difficult people.

It was really a fruitful night.

My action plan:   Take a deep breath.  Sigh.   Be more understanding and accepting.   But most of all, learn to love.

Thank you to my beautiful and HONEST friends :)

Trip to CCF Isabela

Last June 2012,  I was blessed by God to go to CCF Isabela with Ptr. Joey Batungbacal and his wife, Ms. Cecille.  Our department was giving a seminar to their members on the various services on Pastoral Care.
It was my first time to visit Isabela.  Our hosts, Manong Manny and Manang Nida, graciously welcomed us into their homes.   It was truly a bed and breakfast experience!

At the wonderful home of Manong Manny and Manang Nida

 

I didn't expect the people there to be so warm and on fire for God.   They are hard working people and yet have time for what really counts, which is sharing Christ to others and helping each other grow in faith.

Ms. Cecille with the ladies 

We also had a wonderful time fellowshipping with the ladies while Ptr. Joey was with the guys.

All the ladies were attentive in listening to God's message as Ms. Cecille teaches us how to do the Simply The Word method of studying the bible.

Here is a picture of Ptr. Joey with the guys.  This picture was taken after Ptr. Joey gave the message during the sunday service.

My stay in CCF Isabela was truly a memorable one.   The main atttraction for me was the love given by the people to welcome us there.  

I'm reminded of Paul's journey as he visited the various churches in Corinthians, Ephesians, Galatians.... when he would refer to the brethen with warm and fondest endearments.

I don't know when I'd visit CCF Isabela again or if I'd ever meet the lovely people I met there in this lifetime.  But one thing that comforts me is that when Christ comes again, I will surely spend the rest of eternity with them. :)

Ode to Arugula

O arugula
I so love ya
You might be bitter to the taste
but i will never put you to waste


You are also known as garden rocket
So small i can put you in my pocket
You have this peppery fragrant smell
So distinct it's easy to tell


You're so rich in vitamin A
Every time I eat you, my eyes say yay!
I love your bursts of flavor
Do go extinct? This is my favor


Oh arugula....
You make me sigh
I so love ya
I will never say goodbye




*Nearly 10 years ago, my friends invited me to go to a food trip with them to C's Italian Dining in Clark, Angeles, Pampanga.   This was where I met the love of my palate, Arugula.

Sound of Music

"Music has charms to sooth a savage breast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak."  - Act 1. Scene 1.  The Mourning Bride, 1697.

I bought a classical CD that I was supposed to give to my friend, but in the end,  changed my mind instead.   I realized, my friend being a classical pianist, she can play all the songs in the CD herself.  I opted to gift her with something else.

Good thing I changed my mind.  The CD turned out to be a gem!  Well, for me anyway...

For your listening pleasure, I compiled snippets from the tracks in the album.  Click the video to listen.

So there I was on my way home from work, listening to the album. When I realized I was so happy and at peace.  All that was lacking was a skip to my step as I got down the car to open the garage door.  And I wondered. Could the reason be music?

Many studies will tell you that indeed music has the ability to affect one's emotional and mental being.   The effect can be a positive effect or a negative one depending on the song being listened to.  While some have the uplifting effect, other music elicits rage, anger, and depression.

But the narratives I like best about music is found in the bible.

1. When God's anointing on Saul was removed because of Saul's disobedience, an evil spirit started to torment Saul.  So Saul asked his attendants to find someone who can play the lyre. And who should the attendants find?  The ever so famous David who composed many of the psalms found in Psalms!    When the lyre is played, Saul felt better.

1 Samuel 16:23 ..."David would take up his harp and play, then relief would come to Saul; he would feel better, and the evil spirit would leave him."


2. Did you ever wonder why we always start Sunday service with singing?  I'd like to think it started many years ago when God's people often started a battle with the Levites singing songs of praise to God before actually hurting anyone.

Numbers 10:9  "When you go into battle in your own land against an enemy who is oppressing you, sound a blast on the trumpets.  Then you will be remembered by the Lord your God and (be) rescued from your enemies."


3.  And lastly, the ever famous story about the falling down of the Jericho wall.

Jericho 6: 2-5, 20  ²Then the Lord said to Joshua, “See, I have delivered Jericho into your hands, along with its king and its fighting men. ³ March around the city once with all the armed men. Do this for six days. ⁴ Have seven priests carry trumpets of rams’ horns in front of the ark. On the seventh day, march around the city seven times, with the priests blowing the trumpets.⁵ When you hear them sound a long blast on the trumpets, have the whole army give a loud shout; then the wall of the city will collapse and the army will go up, everyone straight in.”  
(One the seventh day) ²⁰ When the trumpets sounded, the army shouted, and at the sound of the trumpet, when the men gave a loud shout, the wall collapsed; so everyone charged straight in, and they took the city. 

When we praise God with music and singing, something happens in the spiritual realms wherein our physical eyes cannot see, but our heart of faith envisions.  Fighting doesn't always entail having a sword nearby.  When we sing (and pray)  we acknowledge that the battle is the Lord's.

Shout for joy, O heavens; rejoice, O earth; burst into song, O mountains! For the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones. (Isaiah 49:13)

The Good and Beautiful God 003

Chapter Three: God is Trustworthy
Soul Training Assignment: Counting Your Blessings

Fifi's Ongoing List of Blessings:

April 29, 2012
1.  Roof over my head.
2.  Food on the table.
3.  Work that I enjoy.
4.  Family.
5.  Helpful and Caring Friends.

April 30, 2012
6.  Office having aircon in this hot weather.
7.  Having hot weather instead typhoons.
8.  Driving a car with aircon.
9.  Living in a tropical climate country.
10. Living in the Philippines.
11. Holiday May 1 which is tomorrow. 
12. Eating good food.
13. Sleeping on a nice bed.
14. Watching cable TV.
15. Has internet access.

May 1, 2012
16. Having hands.
17. Having feet.
18. Having eyes that see.
19. Having ears that hear.
20. People who help clean at home every 2 weeks.
21. Staying at home all day. 

May 2, 2012
22. Providence.
23. Leading a dgrp.
24. Mature and committed D12.
25. Kind and patient boss with his wife.
26. Hardworking assistant. 

May 3, 2012 (Let's go to the specifics)
27. My mom who taught us the value of being responsible and accountable, of having integrity.
28. My sister who's so careful of offending other people and adjusts well to their differences. 
29. My 2nd eldest brother who comes to our house when we need help even if he lives in Paranaque.  (Special mention of cleaning up the smelly dead rat who got trapped in the bathroom of the spare room).
30. My eldest brother who is very masipag in his job and doing errands for his family.
31. My sisters-in-law and brother-in-law who adjusts so well with our family's crazy jokes and antics.
32. My nieces and nephews who are very obedient and who always go with the flow without complaint when we have family outings or gatherings.

May 4, 2012
33. My D12 leader who rarely gets mad and is so patient with her D12 members.
34. My dgrp members who lovingly accepts me for who I am and who graciously forgives my short comings and faults.
35. Having office mates who have the teamwork mentality and quickly help even if its not part of their job description.
36. Having abundant water.  (Imagine if we didn't have water in this heat.) *Trivia: Did you know that Singapore doesn't supply their own water?  They need to import their water from Malaysia. 
37. My every so patient boss who encourages instead of criticizes when I need rebuke. 

Lastly.....
38. My one and only Jesus Christ who gave His life for me so that I can be free.
39. My Abba Father whom I can always be a Papa's girl to Him.
40. The Holy Spirit who convicts me of sin and who empowers me to obey God. 

Why only 40?  

John 21:24-25

²⁴ This is the disciple who testifies to these things and who wrote them down. We know that his testimony is true.

²⁵ Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.

The world would not have room for the many things I am very thankful for! 

Thank you God!